The Week of Insanity

OK, so first things first, the title is misleading. It has actually been more like two weeks but I am going to leave the current week we are spending in California to little miss Red. We apologize for the lack of an update in so long but rest assured, when you see what all we have done, you will understand.

So we last left you in Wisconsin. Seeing as we are now in California there's a lot to cover, but I will do my best to be as concise as possible without leaving out any of the insanity, hilarity and the like.

After Wisconsin we headed to the great state of South Dakota. Now South Dakota gets a bad wrap for being vast, expansive and flat as a pancake with the only exciting thing being the occasional prairie dog. First off, whats wrong with a prairie dog? They're small adorable little creatures that should alone make the state worth visiting, but I assure you South Dakota has much more to offer. Case in point: The Badlands.

It was at our first stop that we learned something interesting. First off, the Badlands are home to the occasional rattlesnake as shown by signs telling people to be careful. Upon seeing said sign, our dear friend Red jumped about two feet in the air, grabbed my hand with a grip usually reserved for hanging from a lone branch 300 feet above the bottom of a ravine and informed us that she is deathly afraid of any kind of snake and will "vom" upon seeing one. We managed to convince her it would be fine and went to enjoy some of the views of this amazing natural spectacle.

It was shortly after that we learned we were wrong. Yes, in a matter of 10 minutes, we came across it. The behemoth, the diabolical, fang-ridden creature of death. Justina was off for the races, reaching the bus in what appeared to be under two seconds which can't be possible since we were about 200 yards away. But yes we walked into the face of death. A rattlesnake. At a whopping two feet and laying on a cliff ledge about 30 feet below us was the creature that was sure to strike fear into, well...OK not even a 4-year old would have been afraid of it. But Justina could not even bring herself to come within a 100 yards of seeing it.

We then moved on to the Black Hills, which for any of you folks out there unaware is where Mount Rushmore is. Of course, after arriving there it started to pour. And this wasn't your typical, boring grab-an-umbrella storm. No, this was the gods opening the sky and taking revenge on whatever the land had apparently done to wrong them. There was rain, lightning and marble sized hail. Not the most opportune weather for walking around outdoors looking at mountain sides. Of course who knows with the way we have acted in previous storms? And of course Beth, the fearless leader, did indeed stay outside waiting for the night show to happen (which of course did not because everyone else is at least mildly sane and thought "Hey! Thunder, lightning, hail - we should probably go inside and hunker down for a bit." Oh well, another poor handling of weather, big surprise!

Next we ventured to the great state of Wyoming. Now Wyoming sucks. I mean, this is a state that needs to be put down. It's been living on borrowed time since its initiation into the Union. I do want to elaborate a little. Wyoming has a lot to offer. Its all in one tiny corner of the state. There you will find part of Yellowstone and the Tetons. However we did not have time to get there and again its only the northeast corner of the state. So, needless to say, there is not a lot to discuss for the few days we were there except one thing.

Wyoming, land of plains, cowboys, and of course, buffalo if you are in the interesting part of the state. It was here that I ran into what was to be the hardest part about my internship. I was given a task I was not sure I could handle. A part of the job I never expected to deal with. We were at dinner on a buffalo ranch and boss lady Beth was perusing the menu. She came across a fine appetizer. In case you have not pieced it together yet let me make it obvious. Food. Buffalo. Appetizer.

That's right, we were all sentenced to the fate of "enjoying" a Rocky Mountain oyster. I assume we all know what they are, if not, look it up as Beth's 10-year old son ate some and was blissfully unaware and wishes to remain so, and as he is one of our readers I won't spoil that for him. But yes, we all were told by Beth we must eat one. We are traveling the country and need to experience new things. With much trepidation I accepted my fate, grabbed a deep fried flab of "buffalo business" in one hand, a beer in my other and went to town. I am making this sound way worse than it was. They actually weren't bad. Not sure I got the stereotypical chicken flavor but decent all the same. Anyway we all managed to get down a few with the aid of a beer of course.

Then we were off to by far the best area of the trip thus far. Now I may appreciate snow, mountains, ski resorts and the Rockies more than any human should, but trust me when I say that Park City and Salt Lake City, Utah are beyond gorgeous. There are snow-capped mountains year round, amazing architecture, mansions even Bill Gates can appreciate. But anyway, let's jump into the stop there.

We began our time in SLC (for those of you hip enough to appreciate a good acronym) at a local brewery to spend some time with a former colleague of Beth's. He is an elderly man around the age of 65 who is the top salesman for Dresser-Rand, a company that produces large pumps for drilling companies and such. It's a huge business and as the pumps can be millions of dollars I think you can understand that the kind of money this guy was making would fund a small country. He was, however, very down to earth about it. By this I mean he did not talk about his money, brag about it or think that he was better than anyone else. You do need to keep in mind that he is a salesman though. The one thing that great sales people like to do is show glitz, glamour and so on. When you have millions of dollars this is not a hard feat to accomplish as I found when he invited us back to his house the next day.

Now I know have built up what this house was like a lot and things very rarely live up to expectations but just wait and I promise I wont disappoint. Let's start by just driving to his house in Park City, Utah. SLC is home to some of the best ski resorts in the country. This house was situated in the hills overlooking three of them. We pulled up to the entrance to the gated community with views of Canyons, Park City and Deer Valley ski resorts surrounding us. We then proceeded to wind our way through the hills and roads passing houses owned by professional snowboarders, skiers and people the likes of Michael Jordan (yes Michael Jordan lived here too). 20 minutes after entering the gates we finally reached the house. It was a rustic looking cabin perched high atop the largest hill and was by far the most beautiful home I had ever seen on the outside. We were greeted by his two beautiful yellow labs. We then went up to the gigantic wooden front doors and entered what I can only describe as the ski chalet God Himself would vacation at.

The home was all wood and brick even on the inside. The back wall of the house was actually a giant glass door that slides into pockets making the home open air so you feel outdoors even while sitting in the kitchen or at his bar. There was, of course, a porch that the sliding wall opened up to. The porch provided a view over the rolling hills up to the Rocky Mountains and the three ski resorts. The kitchen was all pounded copper from the sink to the chairs. There was even a basin in the middle of the counter that could be filled with ice and drinks or anything else you wished. To the right was a full bar that even the most high end of restaurants would envy.

However, we have not began to touch the coup de gras. The man has spent a lot of time traveling the world for business. Many of these trips brought him to France, the self-proclaimed wine capital of the world. Through these travels, he became a wine connoisseur to put it lightly. He escorted us down his spiral brick staircase to his basement complete with pool table, bottom deck with hot tub,again looking over the ski resorts,and his point of pride, the wine cellar. Now, wine cellar makes it sound like a dungeon, but in reality, it was a large wooden room with glass doors filled from top to bottom with wines from all over the world. Each bottle was meticulously labeled complete with date of purchase and by what date it could be opened to ensure it had properly aged (some of which still had another 20 years to go). There was even one bottle that was one of only two produced in the world. It was his pride and joy.

We spent a fair amount of time speaking with him, seeing his house, his Porch, Hummer and, as he put it, his "junky fix up car" - a 2003 Jaguar. After about two hours, we decided to part ways leaving with a gift from him of three bottles of champagne and a bottle of wine.

Next, it was off to the home of the 2002 Olympic Winter Games. It was at one of the main parts of the Park City resort. The road up to it gave fantastic views of the long jumps, bobsled and luge tracks as well as many other things. Much to our surprise there were people going off of the jumps despite the fact that it was 100 degrees and there was no snow. Apparently the surface usually hidden by the snow in winter is Astro-Turf that when watered down allows skiers to easily practice for the coming winter months. We even got to spend a fair amount of time watching people practicing aerials into a pool. Some were Olympic-caliber while others were 5-year olds learning for the first time in an environment much safer than the hard packed winter snow provides.

After an hour or so of watching, our always-adventurous leader Beth decided we needed to get in on some of the action. They offered ziplines and luge tracks and Beth decided it was critical to our lives that we participate. Now I don't see it as being a critical thing but what the hell, who is going to pass up flying down on mountain suspended from a wire or on a luge track? We spent the next hour or two making runs down the mountain experiencing thrills and adrenaline usually reserved for extreme athletes? Finally it was time to press on.

We then spent the next day exploring the city, meeting local activist groups, touring the Mormon Temple, which is one of the most amazing buildings I have seen both in architecture and location. I could go into detail on this as well but it would be another five paragraph tangent and everyone should take the time to travel there and view it for themselves anyway!



So now that I finally have updated to this point I will say adieu. I promise to not allow another lapse in entries like this.