So I have been absent from the liberty crew for exactly one week and one day. I finally got a break from the million-m.p.h. push that Liberty In America has been doing all summer. That break came in the form of a cruise with my family from Tampa, FL to Mexico.
Now I had never been on a cruise before. I have spent the last 21 years, almost 22 now, traveling but it has always been driving around the country so I was pretty excited to finally get on a cruise. I mean there's gambling, booze, sun, Mexico...what's not to be excited about? Now I won't get too much into the cruise - the blog is supposed to be about Red and I and Liberty In America, of course. However, I do feel there is at least one story I should share.
So keeping in mind that this was my first cruise I could not wait to get on the boat and explore. Thus, that's exactly what I did. So I made my way up to the deck, then to the bow of the boat. There, my brothers and I came across a putt-putt course. People were still boarding so it was empty except for a group of three kids about six or seven years old. Anyway, my brothers and I were standing there looking around when my youngest brother goes "LOOK OUT" and dove to the side. I turned just into to see one of said children "Happy Gilmore" his ball. Now we were on the deck of a boat. Open air was all around for a 360 degree radius. A golf ball is about an inch in diameter. Unfortunately my head is apparently a much larger target than I realized, because out of the 360 degrees it had somehow managed to find the side of my face. That's right. The once innocent looking child had turned to a demon of hell when his bright red projectile launched squarely into the my upper cheek bone.
Now this is where some of you go, "Hey, be nice. He is just a little kid and it was an accident." Well, this is what mini-Satan had to say to me as I fell to the ground amidst screaming people: "I said look, why didn't you move?" Of course, after death stares from my two brothers, he dropped his golf club, exclaimed that he thought he'd had enough putt-putt for the day and ran inside the ship. I spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out where I was, what had happened to my glasses and why there was a baseball-sized welt on the side of my face. In other words, cruises are awesome. You should go on one.
Too be fair, the rest of the cruise was fun with the exception of constantly popping Tylenol to keep the throbbing pain in my face down. So I managed to have a good time all the same.
After the cruise, I had a flight booked to Denver, as that was where the bus was supposed to pick me up. Of course, planning ahead has never been something we have done well. This was no different. Instead I got a phone call explaining that the bus would be on Oregon, not Denver, Colorado. Well apparently, the airlines think four hours notice is too short of a time to change flight plans for some reason. So off to Denver I was with no car, little money, and oh - my phone was dead. A typical day in the life of Liberty In America.
I have now been spending the week in a motel outside Denver waiting to be rescued. I do mean rescued. See, there are apparently no airports near the Denver airport that don't cost an arm and a leg, so Justina found me a lavish hotel on the outskirts of Denver. A place that had reviews the likes of "I slept on towels because the bed sheets were so dirty" and "I booked a room, paid and then no one was at the office all night so I had to go find another hotel to stay in but they still charged me". My room is not all that bad. A few cigarette burns in the bedding, a hole in the bathroom wall, a bathroom door that doesn't close and an air conditioner that is pooling water on the carpet leaving a pleasant inviting smell of old musty carpet. In other words, it's a room built for a king. Of course the surrounding area is nice. I can walk to a couple of restaurants. All I have to do is take a mile or two stroll down one highway and across an interstate and I am treated to everything from Jack in the Box all the way to Burger King, which I guess is fitting with the room being fit for a king I should be able to eat like one as well.
So I was originally supposed to be picked up this morning. Of course, the bus generator broke down once again (yes that's at least the third time, now) and I get to spend another night of luxury. I guess I can't complain too much. I did have an old friend from freshman year of college come pick me up for a day to hang out. We walked around Denver, caught a movie (Inception, it's really good, watch it) and even went to a Rockies baseball game.
So that's where I have been. Red has hopefully been doing her part keeping you up to date with happenings on the bus. If not, be sure to yell at her, she needs some criticism and don't worry about making it constructive.
Be sure to check back soon. We have a lot going on the next few days across Colorado!
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